just came back from my pri sch classmate's wake. had never expected to have to attend a friend's wake so soon. after all we are all so young.. 18/19 yrs with lots of time ahead. but things are not always what we perceive them to be.
for so long, almost 7 yrs have not kept in touch with my pri sch friends le. the only contact we had was through friendster and even then that was only with a few.
was checking my email and reading news when one of my ex classmates told me that wei choo, one of my p6 classmates had passed away. initially i thought he was joking. but he seemed dead serious. so i went to check out her friendster profile. there were many condolence msgs. he was serious and she had passed on. for some time, i was stunned. lots of questions came to me.
what happened?
why commit suicide?
Is it so serious?
what was she thinking?
why? why? why?
lots of questions. but i guess many will remain unanswered.
for that moment i thought i was going to cry, after all this was the 2nd time that death had affected me directly. the first time was my grandfather in 2003. my grandfather's health was poor and although his death came as a shock, at least we knew what caused it. wei choo's death was really out of the blue. i felt more deply this time perhaps because we were classmates for 2 yrs and i had spoken and interacted with her many times. never have i thought she would choose this path. then it dawned on me that she would never check her friendster account again nor would she be able to see the msgs left there for her. in the end i din cry.
seeing her picture in front of her coffin made everything very real. she had really died and there she was lying there. her coffin was 1/3 open but i din want to look at her for long because i didn't want to get too emotional. the 4 of us who went, we din speak much about her but i guess we had many questions in common.
some of the feelings that are going through me as i'm typing now i can't describe. its like we have always taken each other's presence for granted and only when the person is gone do we truly feel it. i wasn't close to her and if i feel this way, i can't imagine her family's pain..
i dunno how to continue from here...
for so long, almost 7 yrs have not kept in touch with my pri sch friends le. the only contact we had was through friendster and even then that was only with a few.
was checking my email and reading news when one of my ex classmates told me that wei choo, one of my p6 classmates had passed away. initially i thought he was joking. but he seemed dead serious. so i went to check out her friendster profile. there were many condolence msgs. he was serious and she had passed on. for some time, i was stunned. lots of questions came to me.
what happened?
why commit suicide?
Is it so serious?
what was she thinking?
why? why? why?
lots of questions. but i guess many will remain unanswered.
for that moment i thought i was going to cry, after all this was the 2nd time that death had affected me directly. the first time was my grandfather in 2003. my grandfather's health was poor and although his death came as a shock, at least we knew what caused it. wei choo's death was really out of the blue. i felt more deply this time perhaps because we were classmates for 2 yrs and i had spoken and interacted with her many times. never have i thought she would choose this path. then it dawned on me that she would never check her friendster account again nor would she be able to see the msgs left there for her. in the end i din cry.
seeing her picture in front of her coffin made everything very real. she had really died and there she was lying there. her coffin was 1/3 open but i din want to look at her for long because i didn't want to get too emotional. the 4 of us who went, we din speak much about her but i guess we had many questions in common.
some of the feelings that are going through me as i'm typing now i can't describe. its like we have always taken each other's presence for granted and only when the person is gone do we truly feel it. i wasn't close to her and if i feel this way, i can't imagine her family's pain..
i dunno how to continue from here...
3 comments:
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